deep calls to deep

Today I went to Centenary United Methodist for the first time. As I sat in an unfamiliar place seeing unfamiliar faces I wondered what they would think of me sitting there. I have never been one who minds spending time in my own company while getting to explore the unfamiliar in fact I quite enjoy it. Visiting new congregations on Sundays reminds me God is bigger than the modern Church. I am also encouraged to hear others perspectives and see into their relationships with God. I still do however get caught up thinking of what others will think about me and hold myself back. I started thinking about how today was different and similar to my more typical Sunday worship experience. More often than not I plan and sit with friends who know me well at church. Today I was alone. In both circumstances with or without friends I enjoy being in God's presence among other believers and in both circumstances I make praising God too much about me.

I am seeking to take myself out of my Sunday morning worship. The Church no doubt is a gift (& I live in a time and place where it is accepted and encouraged to gather with fellow believers). I am wrestling with me in the Church. I do not want to participate in the culture of religion/Christianity. How does it look for individual temples to come together in the house of God and be separate from the influence of anything being ritualistic to the believer but join with each other as Christ made it possible and intends us to be united?

I recently have been listening to David Platt and have great respect for him and his teaching. The following is a link to a sermon entitle Kingdom Community:
http://www.radical.net/media/series/view/1074/kingdom-community/audio?filter=series

We restore one another.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Matthew 18:15-20 ESV)

I am blessed to have a community of people in my life that are God's reassurance, company, and love to me. I am blessed to have a small group of women who I can live my failures and triumphs with. I am blessed to have older wiser women in my life as mentors that I can learn from and gladly submit to their leadership and authority God has given them. I have the resources at my fingertips.

I know this is not the case only meant for few to have as their reality. God wants this kingdom community to be the living church in everyone who is in Christ.

I never want to settle for the shallow when deep cries out to deep.

"As the deer pants for streams of water,so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" Psalm 42:1-2

Not everything is clear but I know God uses each Sunday morning to teach me more than any speaker and audible voice anywhere I go. He has lead me to my kingdom community today and I trust he will do the same for my tomorrow.

Just to know that You are near is enough. God of heaven come down.