Living in the Light

Days as my last 24 hours make me really seek to know what I actually deep within me think about this thing called life. Life is something we all receive. No exception. It is not something we can imagine into being or work into existence. It isn't something even the people who love us alone can make possible for us in their strength. Life is so much bigger than us. Yes. I know that in my thoughts. Have I tested those thoughts through the actions that make up my life? Do I forget that I believe this and in those moments cease to believe it? If I am living as one who has forgotten what you would believe if only to remember the one who gives life to everything is that called sleeping? "Awake sleeper, rise up from the dead,and Christ will give you light."

Believing and living are meant to be of the same thought. No guilt, just wholehearted pursuing truth as I know truth has always pursued me and every life. Living without being in remembrance of the start of life which was unobtainable through human power is the same as being dead in the way that matters with your spirit. Not to say that you are a dead person spiritually. God is a God of unending grace for every second of every life. He always calls to us to awaken and reawaken and reawaken. I am awake today and it is a gift, tears and all it is a gift. life that is is a gift, feeling his presence and knowing I have been awakened to more than the physical world. Christ will give you light; Christ will give you true life, that is why you were given life.

As I asked for directions to the gift shop I am delighted to hear a piano and singing in the lobby. It transpires to me that the person singing genuinely loves music and is bringing life forth as they sing and play. This place does not feel like a place where people who are sick stay. I remember having this thought and thinking I believed it. I had no reason to question it. Music is something I love and it is in me to think others love it enough to offer it as comfort, joy, peace, goodness, and everything that is of God. 

In the waiting area I observed a few conversations. The lady working behind the desk had a headache from the maintenance on the hallway near where I am sure she spent long hours. I caught a person I know in scrubs and thought about saying hi if they walked by again. I didn't even know he worked at UK children's hospital. Day to day life has proved to be sequences of things such as being in contact with people you don't know and other unexpectedly things and in the midst it can seem the events that make up our days give us little relevant meaning or much importance. But as I write I think about how all it would take for those things to have meaning is for me to pray specifically for the person I saw today that I know and for me to write and encouraging card to the woman working the desk and anonymously offer a kind gesture to help ease her headache. Life can always be about lifting others up and edifying the church through offering kindness. All it took for me to go from irrelevant meaningless events to relevant and meaningful was to remember life is about so much more than me.

Today is the day I found out one of the children in my class as of this morning has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Lukemia. For the last two days I have wondered what would come of this precious baby going to the doctor. Now that I have found out his physical condition and have heard about what doctors plan to do for him I want to join those fighting with him and start showering his family with love and all that is good, all that cancer is not. The best and only way I will be able to do this is to start with praising God for the gift of life. I am awaken and wanting more of His presence. Christ wants to give light. And I want to be in Christ. 

Right now I am hanging on to this, God loves this family this I know. I pray that they come to know that very real life to the full love. 

I am positive I have felt the love of God in such a powerful way that I relearn what love is all over again. I feel it as if for the first time. It is whole and genuine. It is so new it is as if it is foreign to me. But it is also familiar. It is familiar in the way that it is new. It's newness has dumbfounded me over and over. God's love is so vast in the most intimate way. There is no end to His desire for only what is good for us.